I really hate it when you burn the roof of your mouth and there are those weird little shreds of mouth-skin hanging down later and it just feels awful. Don’t tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about!

Something I was reading the other day reminded me of this. I was fascinated by the rainbow slicks that showed up in parking lots sometimes. I thought it was some sort of very reasonable magic, and I was so confused and crushed when I learned that it was just spilled oil on the pavement. Not only was it not magic, it was also pollution, and not at all the beautiful thing I thought it was. OR WAS IT? There’s a frighteningly deep metaphor for something in there somewhere, I just don’t know what it is…

Oh, hey, so I have a career type thing now! I flew down to Florida for the job interview, and the guy said that so long as my references didn’t tell him I was an axe-murderer or something, the job was mine! So here’s hoping nobody mentions those bodies down in Mexico. *crosses fingers*

I jest, obviously. But really, this is pretty great, I think I’m really going to enjoy it. And it only took me 181 resumes/applications. *sigh* I’ll be moving down to Florida in about 5 weeks, it looks like. I’m not crazy about the area, but I am excited about moving out on my own to a new place. I’m glad I don’t know anyone there yet; I find it exhilarating when there’s no one else to rely on but myself.

Many hilarious things happened on my trip!
On my first flight, there was an unfortunate incident with a little girl and a giant yellow balloon and not enough room for the both of us in this town. Some tears were shed (by the little girl, not me or the yellow balloon), but it ultimately worked out. (It was not my fault! I didn’t make her cry! She just started up the waterworks all on her own!) I ended up getting two seats to myself after that, which was nice.

On the second flight, there were two little kids in the back who reminded me a lot of me and my brother when we were small. They were having the most imaginative games! I don’t think they even had toys, they were just imagining back and forth, talking to the planes out the window. “I see that you’re flying.” “I am!” Then later: “Oh no, we’re out of gas! We’re lost!” “I’ll help you!” “Thank you!” “Oh airplane, I wish we could give YOU a ride.” It was cute. Well, until they started screaming. That was less cool.

In the Fort Lauderdale airport, some lady had a baby marmoset. Yes, a marmoset. The thing was about the same size as the one in the picture there, and it was NOT happy. The lady was such a spoiled brat, it was funny and terrible to listen to her. She flew down to FL just to get the marmoset, which cost $2500. People kept telling her she had to restrain it somehow, but she kept insisting it was “a service animal”, even though I heard her say later it wasn’t, of course. She had a all of these little pink blankets for it, because she’d been told she was getting a girl, and then it turned out to be a boy, so she was all in a huff over that. Then at some point the monkey got sick of all her complaining and used the bathroom on her, and then a little while later I heard her say, “He bit me!” I’d have bitten her too. Poor marmoset.

There were two utterly hilarious guys across the aisle from me on one flight. I eavesdropped shamelessly because they were the most entertaining thing on the whole plane (including the marmoset). They were both photography nerds or something and were taking surreptitious pictures of people the whole time, which reminded me of Luke. As they sat down, one said to the other, “Thank you for sitting down with such speed and swiftness” which struck me as incredibly amusing. I think they probably wondered why I kept having coughing attacks, but I was trying not to make it obvious I was laughing at them. They talked about jousting briefly (of course, my ears pricked up at that) and said they needed to find a welder to make them “some sick swords.” One said, “Oh NOW it’s sunny. Looked like Armageddon with all those clouds earlier.” One pulled on his seatbelt and it came off in his hand (it was one of the sample ones that had been tossed on to his seat by mistake), and he waved it in the air at the stewardess and called, “This does not seem safe!” One was yammering about lenses or something when there was one of those plane-wide hushes, and he said, “This plane just got really quiet.” “It’s because you were talking.” They were tossing Star Wars and Willy Wonka references around and were in general hysterically funny. I got very little reading done on that flight, and it was totally worth it. I salute you, mystery photography dudes!

On my very last flight, the steward looked just like Bruce Willis. No lie. He was immensely entertaining as well, cracking Star Trek jokes left and right, which I appreciated very much. Everyone was grouchy and tired because the flight was delayed so long, but he had all of us laughing in no time. I salute you too, Bruce Willis lookalike!

I have to say, aside from the above exceptions, people in airports aren’t really human. No one looks at each other while they sit at the gate, no one wants to sit near anyone, no one looks anywhere except straight ahead when they’re in the tunnel heading to the plane, and on the plane no one talks to the person next to them. No one looks out of the plane window anymore. When did that happen? This is human flight, people! Look alive! Look out the window! YOU ARE FLYING. Do you understand that? *sigh*

A really sweet thing happened yesterday. I’d mentioned to my boss that I got the job (I’m finishing up at the country club before moving down, so they’re not being left in the lurch or anything). Yesterday she called me into her office (am I in trouble? I don’t even remember doing anything!), and EVERYBODY was there, and the dessert chef had made me a cake that said “Congratulations, Stephanie!” on it, and it was ridiculously touching. I’ve really loved working there this summer (not so much the others, but oh well), and that was kind of the capstone moment. Well, either that or they’re really excited that I’m leaving. 😛

What books have I been reading, you ask? I shall tell you. Mostly disappointing ones, sadly. I read I Know This Much Is True by Wally Lamb because a coworker lent it to me, and it was AWFUL. I felt like I had to give it a good try, though, because the coworker is really sweet and sometimes she recommends great stuff (well, also some duds…Of Human Bondage, ugh). By the time I’d given it a thorough try and decided that I did indeed hate it, I was so far in I thought I might as well finish it, because I had to know what happened. This is why I end up reading books I hate! I can’t not finish them! Anyway, certainly don’t bother with nasty ol’ Wally. Then I read The Stone Diaries by Carol Shields, under recommendation as well, and while I liked *how* it was written, I still didn’t like the book. I realized, to my shock, that I don’t actually like to read everything, I just like to read. I like my eyes moving back and forth on a page, the physical act of reading and digesting words, but I’m actually really picky. I didn’t know this until pretty recently; I’ve liked most of what I’ve read in my life so I thought I liked most books. I think I’ve just been lucky (that and I read a lot of classics). So many of these new books, I cannot even believe people read them! Who publishes these pieces of junk? There is no redeeming value!

After those two disasters, I read three books by Mary Stewart (rotting my teeth, oh well). She’s like Agatha Christie, but with a lower body count and more poetic descriptions! And now I’m working on The Portrait of a Lady by Henry James. I wanted very much to like it, it’s a classic I’ve been meaning to read for a long time, but…I just can’t. I can’t seem to get into it. I only have 100 pages left, though, so I might as well finish it.

Whoa, tired. Sleep now.